Top ten ways your doing The Last Jedi wrong using Jedisplain


1. He’s not your Luke Skywalker. In a ironic twist, even Mark Hamill said he portrayed a different version of Luke to support the storyline and that it wasn’t his Luke Skywalker. That’s right Mark, it served the story because that IS the story. That IS what you get, and that IS what happened to Luke. It’s tragic that Luke has become this broken figure, but you don’t have a say. You’re not part of it, it’s not your choice, and it’s certainly not your Luke, so get over it and move on.

2. Luke’s not gone. Did you see Yoda in The Last Jedi? Was Obi-Wan gone? Think we’ll see Luke again in ghost Jedi glory? Padawan league people, your eyes can deceive don’t trust them.

3. Just because KyloBen said he saw Rey’s parents, doesn’t mean he saw Rey’s parents. He’s probably lying, or just describing “a truth from a certain point of view.” This isn’t the first time we’ve had to swallow some Jedisplain rationalization.

4. Yoda gets it. Not since our initial introduction to Yoda, have we seen his sense of humor and whimsical wonderment of it all. Luke, in his familiar whining tone, exclaims “but the sacred Jedi texts!” while Yoda calmly speaks the truth, “Nothing contained in the texts does the girl not already possess.” As confirmed later, the books are on the damn Falcon.

5. The Force is bigger than the crude matter of your brain. Yes, there are ways to use the force that are new to us, and they’re not quantifiable, nor measurable. Always in motion the future,,,,Midi-chlorians be damned.

6. A New Hope. Star Wars began as modern mythology for a new generation with a theme of humanity versus technology. That still resonates fully throughout, “I’m still holding for General Hux…”. The giant Death Star gun versus the crystal critters, we don’t kill what we hate, we save what we love,….

7. The Grey side of Forcetime. Perhaps both sides evolve to embrace a check and balance system and kill the antiquated ideas of the Sith and Jedi altogether. Rey and KyloBen fight side by side, no light or dark, only against a backdrop of red (blood?) They believe they have prophesied turning each other to their “side” and perhaps they are both right. They are now telepathically linked with their Forcetime chats while the light and dark make only shades of grey.

8. Yes, Leia used the Force. Perhaps ask yourself why you have a problem with that. No, a human can’t survive the cold vacuum of space, and last time I checked, I can’t order a real light saber on Amazon.

9. Poe vs Holdo: Perhaps ask yourself why you have a problem with that. Light vs Dark, man vs women, machine vs human, why can’t we all just get along?

10. DJ gets it. Benico Del Toro’s character reaffirms the shades of grey motif displaying his “no right or wrong, just bizness,” attitude. He also points out that both sides are lining the pockets of the same 1%. Sound familiar? Coincidence that he’s the master code breaker?

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